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  • Haywood Callow Esq

    Haywood Callow Esq Monte Carlo

    Sir The scandalous memoirs which you were intent on publishing and would have so embarrassed many fine upstanding members of many a respectable club are now in my possession. I will be in Waterloo Station, albeit fleetingly, at 3.30pm next Tuesday. You will recognise me through my resemblance to my late Great Aunt Daphne, who features so prominently in chapters four and six. I will return the manuscript once certain revisions are agreed and a suitable sum paid in recompense for the ghastly experience you put poor Daphne through (Chapter nine, page 142), after which she never spoke a word, though smiled mysteriously ever after. Yours, in sworn emnity, H Callow Esq

    Sir

    The scandalous memoirs which you were intent on publishing and would have so embarrassed many fine upstanding members of many a respectable club are now in my possession. I will be in Waterloo Station, albeit fleetingly, at 3.30pm next Tuesday. You will recognise me through my resemblance to my late Great Aunt Daphne, who features so prominently in chapters four and six. I will return the manuscript once certain revisions are agreed and a suitable sum paid in recompense for the ghastly experience you put poor Daphne through (Chapter nine, page 142), after which she never spoke a word, though smiled mysteriously ever after.

    Yours, in sworn emnity,

    H Callow Esq

  • Ponty

    Ponty Ponthanby Manor

    Cracking show the other week, good to see you back on fine form once again. I do need rather quickly a few more packets of that crushed rhino horn potency cream you sold me. It was a miracle cure, the only problem being that I have raised her ladyship’s expectations to new heights and without this little pep up I may fail to live up to these new expectations. So quick as you can old bean as the clock is ticking. Look forward to seeing you at the next show Ponty Lord C. Ponthanby Smythe

    Cracking show the other week, good to see you back on fine form once again.
    I do need rather quickly a few more packets of that crushed rhino horn potency cream you sold me. It was a miracle cure, the only problem being that I have raised her ladyship’s expectations to new heights and without this little pep up I may fail to live up to these new expectations.

    So quick as you can old bean as the clock is ticking.

    Look forward to seeing you at the next show

    Ponty

    Lord C. Ponthanby Smythe

  • Tex Braithwaite

    Tex Braithwaite A large green van.

    And while I'm about it Randy.... Where's my wife!!!?

    And while I'm about it Randy.... Where's my wife!!!?

  • Rev. Aloysious Wazoo

    Rev. Aloysious Wazoo St Winifreds Orphanige

    My God, You boys can really swing ! However i was also wondering when my complete set of Encyclopedia Brittanica would be arriving? I noticed my cheque was cashed over a month ago and so i (and the orphans we care for) eagerly await their delivery as promised.

    My God, You boys can really swing ! However i was also wondering when my complete set of Encyclopedia Brittanica would be arriving? I noticed my cheque was cashed over a month ago and so i (and the orphans we care for) eagerly await their delivery as promised.

  • Tex Braithwaite

    Tex Braithwaite The 'Range'

    Where's my money Randy? Tex Braithwaite.

    Where's my money Randy?
    Tex Braithwaite.